Is State Testing "Testing" You as a Parent, Too? Here's How to Deal With It
Your heart is pounding out of your chest. Your body is tense. Your brain feels blank, and your face is flushed. You feel like the air conditioning needs to be turned up by about 10 degrees.
You could be experiencing anxiety, but you could also be experiencing a healthy and normal amount of stress…depending on how long it lasts and what recovery from it is like!
If your child is getting ready for a big state test, you might be familiar with these symptoms. Test anxiety is a very real phenomenon for many people, and it can be crippling, especially for kids with any level of anxiety. Take heart in the fact that you are not alone.
March and April are months in which many school districts around the country focus on state testing. In Colorado, that test is the CMAS (Colorado Measure of Academic Success), while in other places, like New York, kids are getting ready to take tests like the NYS English Language Arts exam.
You might find yourself worrying about the level of anxiety your child experiences and ask yourself. Should you still have them take the tests? Should you opt out? How do you know what the right decision might be?
In most cases, as a parent, you do have the right to opt out of testing, and deciding what to do is a highly personal decision! As with anything, there are pros and cons.
What is the purpose of State Testing?
Before diving into the subject of test anxiety, it's important to understand why these tests exist in the first place.
In most states, test scores are used to review a school, its progress, and curriculum. In Colorado, the CMAS scores can be used to show how many of the students who attend are on grade level, which is meant to be a reflection on the school (and not necessarily of the student).
Many schools can place a lot of emphasis on these tests. They may discuss and prepare for them several months in advance. If your child is undergoing anxiety and or stress during this preparation, it can help to explain to them the real purpose of the test.
“This month, you will be doing some testing in school. This information is for the school. It helps them determine how they are doing and places they can grow and become better for students.”
So what is test anxiety?
What is Test Anxiety, and What does it feel like?
At its very core, test anxiety is a type of performance anxiety. This pops up whenever performance counts or when the pressure is on to do well - or when there is a perception of that pressure. Performance anxiety isn't limited just to academics - it could be anything from getting into position at the pitcher's mound to trying out for a school play.
All anxiety, including test anxiety, is a reaction to the anticipation of stress. When you're stressed, your body releases adrenaline, a hormone that prepares your body for danger (also known as the fight or flight reaction). This causes symptoms like:
A pounding heart
Rapid breathing
Sweating
Headache and nausea
Feelings of stress, helplessness, and disappointment
Difficulty concentrating
Procrastinating
These reactions aren't all necessarily bad. A bit of stress is good - it's your body's warning mechanism that you need to prepare for something that's about to happen. There are ways you can use test anxiety to your advantage, in fact.
For example, you can take the anxiety as a sign that you need to study for an hour tonight and get to bed early. These symptoms of test anxiety can be used as a "cue" of what kind of behavior needs to happen next.
On the flip side, test anxiety can also lead to some negative impacts. You might find yourself succumbing to negative thoughts or engaging in harmful or non-productive behaviors. For example, rather than studying, you might stay up late playing video games, thinking, "What's the point? I'm not going to do well on this test anyway."
Preparing Your Child for Testing
If you choose to have your child partake in testing, you may want to give them some words of encouragement:
“We can think of this as a practice. Testing is something you will encounter in your future. For careers, many people have to pass a test in order to do their job, teachers, police officers, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and even drivers! You have to take a test to get your license, too.”
“We’re going to use this time to practice managing big feelings that can come up.”
“Some stress can be a really good thing. It helps us grow and overcome challenges or things that feel hard.”
“You are loved, and I value you no matter what kind of test score you get.”
“You might not know every single answer on the test, and that's okay!”
“I know you're feeling nervous about the test, and tests can be scary. But you practiced really hard, and you might surprise yourself! Give it a try.”
“Do you feel worried when you think about the test? Let's talk about ways we can make you feel better.”
You can also give your child some positive affirmations that they can use during testing, ideally while taking deep breaths, such as:
“I have studied, and I am prepared.”
“I have enough time.”
“I am doing the best I can, and my best is enough.”
“When I am done, I can celebrate my hard work with ___.”
Opting Out of Testing
There are some situations in which it may make more sense to opt your child out of testing. Some stress is good for us, but too much can be detrimental. If you find that your child's level of stress is disproportionate or it is severely impacting his/or her mental health, despite having the conversations described above, it may make sense to opt-out.
Make sure you're clear with your child about why this is happening. Some things you might want to bring up include:
"I know you're really worried about these tests. They aren't to test you, but instead, to make sure the school is teaching you everything you need to learn. We are going to opt out of this test, but it is still helpful to do these practice tests in school because testing is something you will encounter in the future.”
“Sometimes stress is good and sometimes it becomes really hurtful for us brains and bodies. We are not going to take this test. Thank you for sharing about how you are feeling. I want to keep talking about how different situations make our mind and body feel.”
It can be hard to determine if your child is experiencing anxiety or a healthy type of stress. Thinking about how your child is impacted physically, emotionally, and behaviorally can help to decipher your next steps. Check out the section on symptoms of test anxiety.
Talking About Stress
It's a good idea to provide your child with some information about how they will deal with stress of all kinds, whether that's in a testing environment or not.
Some things you can say are:
"When you feel anxious, it might feel like sweating and a rapid heart rate and that's okay! That's your body's way of getting you ready. If you feel these things, what are some ways you can get prepared?"
"Let's practice some coping strategies like deep breaths to help you manage your anxiety!”
"I'm proud of you for how you took that test, but know that the results aren't the whole story. Is there anything we can do that will make you less nervous for other tests later on?"
"Did you know that a pounding heart and rapid breathing are typical signs of stress? Stress can be a good thing and a bad thing, so while it's okay to be stressed when you have a test coming up, know that it might be your body trying to get you ready!"
It can also help to have a candid conversation with your child about why they might be experiencing those things: "Tests can cause your chest to pound and your body to sweat! Sometimes it can make our thoughts race or jump around."
Don't be afraid of asking some open-ended questions. This will help you get a better idea of what is going on in your child's body and mind. This might look like: "Can you tell me more about what it feels like? Or what you're thinking about?"
The stress response doesn't lie, but it can be tricky to determine the difference between healthy stress and detrimental stress. Ultimately, normalizing stress and anxiety, specifically when tied to state testing, can be an important part of the process. Helping your child understand what stress looks and feels like is a great first step to understanding these feelings. Conversations like the above can help you, and your child determine which type of stress they are experiencing.
Let us know if any of the above conversation starters helped you talk to your child about stress and anxiety.